Dear God, Suddenly I begin to feel her near me, but it hurts to see thats she’s really so far away, more each day. I need to say somethings to her, I need to kiss her again, I need her in my arms once more, I need to see her face when I’m lying next to her I’m afraid of never seeing her again. I want to hear Nick Cave’s “Into my Arms” without crying. Please lead her way with your guiding light right into the happines path, and help me to forget her…or bring her back, I promise to do my best and to learn from my mistakes, mistakes that made me lose her. I know she hasn’t forget me yet so send an angel to whisper in her ear each night that I love her and that I want her to be happy…even if it’s not with me. Sorry about my english but you are god so I know that you will understand my prayer. Amen Roberto, Mexico
2 Comments »
Posted in Love
Dear God,
I’ve been in love with a guy for two years. He’s not with me now but we were together for 6 months and things were very weird because I always felt that there was someone else watching us. As the result of that feeling I kept a wall between us (even though I die to tell him I love him everyday!!!). We eventually broke up but it hasn’t ended for me. I know it’s been two years…but every time I get the chance to see him I fall in love with him all over again. But to make things worst, I have a new boyfriend. I feel so sad about what I’m doing to him. I know I’m not the first one in this situation. What should I do God? Really…I get physically and mentally tired just to think of it. I’ve cried millions of tears. I try to tell myself everyday…”You don’t love him anymore…move on”. Should I just give up and let it die?
Ana, Somewhere
Posted in Love
Dear God, When are you going to let all those who believe in you know that you don’t exist? I find it alarming, scary in fact, that so many blindly devote themselves, act on the behalf of, and talk to something that quite clearly doesn’t exist. You’ve kept a firm grip on society through promoting shame, guilt and fear - not of your wrath - but of humanity and life itself. I get that many of us need ’something’ to believe in, I get that. But it’s still very sad to know that a fairy tale has become the biggest prank in history. I’m sorry people, but no matter who or what you act on behalf of, what YOU do in this life still matters. Who you hurt, who you shame, who you love and who you help determines who you are - what you believe is irrelevant - pain, suffering, joy and love are real. The reason god knows everything you do, is because god IS you! It’s a joke. Don’t you get it?
Dane, Brisbane/Australia
Posted in Belief
Dear God,
I have a recurring dream, where I’m lying on my back on the grass, looking at a starry night sky. it is very peaceful, and then I hear a voice. then for a moment, I understand the meaning of life and why I am here. Then i wake up. Once I wake up, I forget the meaning of life. This is such an accurate reflection of my life. I am living in an illusion, and just as I see the meaning, it disappears. I cant take this anymore. The meaning of life is a life of meaning, but what is the meaning? Please help me.
Johnnie, Sydney/Australia
Posted in Dreams
Dear God, I have a clear lack of faith in regards to this whole Christianity thing.. As if you haven’t noticed from your lofty regions above with the power to see and know everything, life here sucks! It seems to me if you have this omniscient power why is it necessary for me to ask from you anything? Shouldn’t you know? As you are I’m sure well aware, I come from people who have extreme faith in the teachings of Christianity. I was marinated, as I’m sure you know in a rich medley of the gospel. I was taught what the Christian idea of right and wrong was and given examples of what it meant to be a “woman of God” At the age of five I was led to you by my Sunday School teacher Mrs. Blackney. Lovely lady, I’m sure she is still in your services somewhere in your celestial realms of Heaven. I remember thinking to myself at that tender age of five while my parents stood over my shoulder with the “light of God” shining from them that this was something I had a pretty difficult time buying. The whole Jesus born from a virgin…half human half God…him dying and then returning to his body three day’s later. Even at such a young age I looked into my parents’ faces and then into Mrs. Blackneys’ and thought I can’t believe these people actually BELIEVE this… Strangely God, even at the age of five and lacking the reason that my parents were supposed to have, I seemed to have a certain amount of rational, reasonable doubt in relation to this whole little fairy tale they were expecting me to buy into. Tell me freakin Alice has fallen down a hole and is running into speaking rabbits…tell me that there is a place called “Never Land” with pirates and fairies and boy’s who never grow up and fly around, they are fun and imaginative and catch the fancy of any child under the age of 12. My parents made certain that I was not under any delusion that these stories were an actuality. They were only “make believe”, “fairy tales” So why God, why can’t I believe in some far off place full of fun and whimsy, why can’t I believe that a boy of wood becomes real from the touch of a fairy? Why should it be any easier for me to believe a boy conceived by God in the womb of a woman who had never known a man intimately is born, that three kings knew and came to worship this would be savior, and then suddenly in the blink of an eye 32 years later, this boy grown up is healing sick, removing blindness, turning water into wine, the loaves and the fishes…walking on water…dying on a cross, and then on the third glorious day is resurrected? Excuse me God if there seems to be a smidgen of resentment regarding this little biblical tale, but after it was shoved down my throat for over half of my life or better, it’s kinda left a sour taste in my mouth. It seems that if I buy into this little story and believe that your son died to save me, I’ll get to go to heaven and avoid the fires of hell. I can lie, cheat, steal, even kill…I can be unforgiving, backstabbing, intolerant, and arrogant. I can hate, and feel bitterness, and as long as I believe that your son did what all those holy rollers say he did I’m in…oh an along the way while I’m waiting to get in, I get to judge my fellow man based off of these biblical standards that they say you have set. If I’m good and loving, if I abhor intolerance, if I reach out to any of my fellow man regardless of there life styles, and beliefs and love them, if I strive to live a life free of judgment, and allow my neighbor to live with the freedom I have been given, if I value life and, and the sanctity of honesty and if I choose to donate my time to charity instead of my finances, and I don’t believe that Jesus died for me…if I don’t accept this story…I get to go to hell. I guess God, it’s easier for me to believe in Peter Pan…in other words if a hypocritical, judgmental, “child of God” is able to sneak in under the radar with a long list of deadly sins attached (cus no man is perfect) then in truth I’d rather not. A. Girlsomewhere, Colorado/USA
Posted in Belief
Dear God,
I am sorry for watching porn. I really am. This is just something that is really hard for me to give up right now.
Please don’t stop loving me. I don’t want to be punished anymore. My family and I can’t take it.
Cat Von D, Chicago/USA
26 Comments »
Posted in Confessions
Dear God,
I pray because I’m lost.
I am from a small Aussie town. I went to boarding school as a child where, after a few years, began to be sexually abused by a teacher. I mentally tortured myself and wanted to die for years but finally told my family who will do anything to help me. I don’t know if I was confused before, but ever since the abuse I have been in a sexuality crisis. Now I am 25 and don’t know what or who am I am and live in constant guilt that if I was to go one way, I will be going against God. I have lost my faith in the church but haven’t lost my faith in God. I don’t think the Church and its institutions represent God and this is my only comfort. I research the Church and sexuality and the hypocrisy and arguments only fuel my confusion and anger. I try and rationalise how I feel but nothing helps. I take massive amounts of anti-depressants and sleeping tablets every night and then every day, stroll into work like nothing’s wrong.
Only a few of my closest friends know all of this and I want to run away to another country and start again. Sometimes I wonder if God did all this to test me, to see what sort of man I could become and to test my strength. Sometimes I think everything I’m doing is against God and my life will be judged severely. I moved to the city after boarding school where I felt no one would know me or judge me. I work in a very liberal industry but this doesn’t seem to bring me comfort.
I want to return home and help my Dad in the family business but feel that I would bring shame on the family if I did eventually decide that I was gay not straight. Everyone in town probably thinks it anyway so am I really saving anyone any embarrassment by living away? My family knows that I’m really confused and am struggling and are totally supportive. I just don’t want to embarrass them in a fundamentalist Christian town where everyone would judge my family and I. I loathe the thought of my very proud and traditional school finding out everything and thinking I am the one to blame or that I am an embarrassment to them. Even if they don’t know about the abuse, I hate the thought of all the other students finding out and taking delight in knowing their taunts of ‘faggot’ were accurate. I feel I’ve lost connection with my hometown because of all this and I feel I have no home and forever am lost and transient.
I wonder if the confusion, pain and problems will ever go away or whether I will end up sad, alone and angry. Am I being self absorbed and spoilt? Or do you feel my prayers are needed? I feel I can’t trust the church or its interpretations of Jesus. I feel like I am a disappointment in the Church’s eyes but hope, whomever I become, I won’t be a disappointment to Jesus. I wish I was stronger. I wish I could just stand up, grow up and get over it. It doesn’t seem that easy though. Please hear my prayers and guide me.
J - Australia
Posted in Faith
Dear God.
I am a short, weak-looking woman. But I once assaulted a young teen- aged boy who threw an apple at my car. I drove down an alley after him really fast, stopped and jumped out and chased him down. I cornered him in by a fence and pushed him down. I kicked him a few times in the abdomen and arm while he was down. Then I got in my car and drove away. I was a wreck about it for months. It spurred me to go to counseling for my “anger” but I never did tell the counselor this story. The shoes I wore that day, I had to throw them out soon after-I couldn’t look at them. At the time, it didn’t seem that I hurt him very much (He got right up). But I sometimes imagine that maybe it was worse than I remember. I think of that movie “Short Cuts” where the little boy died after Lilly Tomlin hit him with her car and she goes on with her life oblivious…I wonder where that kid is now. This is the only secret I keep from my husband. It is the only thing in my life I am ashamed of.
Lyn, Brooklyn,NYC/USA
Posted in Confessions
Dear God, It’s been a hell of a year, but I’m still standing. Finding out I was HIV+ was the hardest blow I’ve had to take in my life, and that’s saying a lot. But I’ve survived it, and come to terms with it, and I’m finding the strength and the faith to keep on going. I’m not writing to ask ‘why’. Or to tell you I’m pissed off at you for this. Or even to beg you to take it all away. I’m writing to say thank you for giving me this chance to come to a new appreciation of my life, and the people I love. And I’m writing to ask you to help me discern what’s next, and to have the courage to take it on. Oh yeah. And I hope you know: I may not come see you very often, or even talk to you all that much, but you are close to my heart always. See you around. Jay, Shanghai/China
11 Comments »
Posted in Hope
Dear Universe,
I write you this letter in part, on behalf of the millions of people on this planet who will never have the opportunity to write a letter at all, let alone a letter to you, and also in part for my own curiosity. It is innate human behavior to understand our reason for existing. I think this is one of our most common of all questions. Many people search for this truth through various religions and beliefs. Others spend their lives looking for these answers through scientific means. I was recently introduced to the idea that God and the universe may in fact, be one and the same. My dearest Universe, is this possible? In my goal to understand the truth in all things, I have come up short. The quest for truth through Religion seems immeasurably long and possibly unending. Universe, does this sound familiar to you? Even contemplating your vast, infinite nature seems futile. Since your secrets are limitless, how could we ever come to know them all? You seem to have commonalities with God, so I come to you with my questions. Should we continue our search outward, through religion and science, for the answer to our most basic question? Maybe the only truth we can ever truly understand is our own. By searching inward, is it possible to find the answers we seek?
You know, I think just by asking you this question, I have the answer I need. So take your time in responding.
Craig from Newfoundland
Posted in Belief
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